SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   CindyS
   Member

   I have been puttering around today and I am reminded of the little 'not me' character in the Family Circle comics. What do you do about stuff that happens regularly but there is not really any one culprit (and the ones that are responsible ain't talkin' )? Things like paperclips bent open and left to torture the vacuum, trash that 'misses' the trashcan, chunks of dried mud that falls off of boots, stuff just knocked on the floor and walked away from, things that really do have a home tossed in the pantry. I would say that I'd love to be able to do a check daily, but that's not really feasible - or is it? Do you? My husband said that when I find something like that to call everyone in to fix it. Well, here's a funny, the time I did that it was him!! Seriously, though, I want to honor him, and I will do that; I just wondered if anyone had some other suggestions to offer. It's got to be a heart issue; because if they don't care then we're sunk. I just don't know how to reach their hearts on these sorts of issues. They don't understand how it really saps our time and energy in the long run.

   Thanks!!!

   Cindy

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
2. 

   Kalle
   Member

   Last night my kids were asking questions about the first colonies. I was trying to explain to them, from the best of my knowledge, why there was starting to be disatisfaction with England. I was telling them some of the grievances that colonists were having and some of the laws that the they wanted. Your post reminds me of one of them. They did not understand what "innocent until proven guilty" was or the importance of it. So I gave them examples of things that happen in our house and how frustrating it would be if I just started assuming that they were guilty until they could prove to me that they had not done it. As far as suggestions the only things that comes to mind are habits and heart. I keep thinking about Charlotte's example of the door being left open. That we need to be watching and reminding. I have started boxing up items that are not put away by bedtime. For me I know that I need to be watchful of my kids until they have these habits established. Much to often I am preoccupied with other things and allow them to run wild.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
3. 

   mrsjamiesouth
   Member

   Off topic a little, my favorite buy was a wet/dry shop vac.   I love that machine.  I can vacuum up anything with it and not hurt it.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
4. 

   lgeurink
   Member

   I think I read this advice on a scm email but it could have been elsewhere and it would involve knowing or having a good idea of the culprit but I think it fits here.  Instead of training our children's brains to respond to mom's vocal prompt to put away their "shoes/backpack/toys/etc" we ask them to come to the room and tell them something in here is your responsibility in an effort to train their brains to respond to seeing something out of place and fixing it.  I have found it very effective so far and it is literally forming correct impulse pathways in the brain.  I suppose you could try bringing the kids in together and saying something like "somebody has a responsibility in this room, please tell me if it is you" in a light way- I would have to be careful with one daughter who would love to point out who was responsible but that might work or be a start.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
5. 

   CindyS
   Member

   Okay, I think I may be close to what you are saying about responsibility. I will often say, "Would the person who put things away in the pantry last night please come fix it." I like your advice and I can easily correct my wording. I may have misrepresented myself in that I do check my children's work. I was speaking specifically about those things that happen, well, like I said, under the radar. I'm also combining the "boxing stuff up" with "shop vac." That combo could be useful!

   Blessings,

   Cindy

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
6. 

   missceegee
   Member

   We use a "redemption box" to help. When something is out of place that my husband or I see & pick-up, it goes into the box without a word. Every couple of weeks, the kids are allowed to buy back items for a set price of 25 cents per item. Certain things are required purchases, others optional. Items not purchased are donated elsewhere. This has helped during pick up times to get them to be more thorough.

   I also call them back & expect them look around to see what it is. We're not there yet, but it is working.

   Christie

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
7. 

   lovingmothering
   Member

   I love the idea of the redemption box.

   I can se my oldest 4 responding really well to this, thank you .))

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
8. 

   Jimmie
   Member

   I agree that it's a heart issue, basically selfishness. The thinking is "Someone else will fix this." I try to appeal to the heart -- Do you really not care about others that you leave your things like this? Is it fair for you to not pick up after yourself? Is it thoughtful to not SEE the messes you make?"

   I guess I use the guilt strategy.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
9. 

   csmamma
   Member

   Jimmie, you have an excellent point. IMHO its not a "guilt strategy" but instead a "heart- probing- questons" stategy.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post

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