SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   mrsjamiesouth
   Member

   Anyone have great tips for making this smooth?  Last night she went right to sleep and slept until morning, but today for her nap she has been playing and whining for about 45 minutes instead of laying down. She is 19 months.

   I have always put her in bed and shut the door and she has never cried.  I told her all about the big bed and layed her down and shut the door, but I can hear her up there bouncing around and whining to get out now.  Do you think the best thing is not to go at all, leave her until she eventually sleeps?

    

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
2. 

   amandajhilburn
   Member

   I don't think I did the switch the right way, but I have seen several episodes of Supernanny! :)LOL!!!  Like most changes being consistant is the key, in my opinion. I hope someone who knows more will chime in......

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
3. 

   amandajhilburn
   Member

   Sorry it posted twice....I don't know how to delete the second one ;)

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
4. 

   suzukimom
   Member

   Basically, you have to decide what you want - and then be consistant.

   For nighttime (which it sounds like you didn't have a problem) - you basically just keep putting them back in the bed over and over, not talking to them (except the first time you put them back, where you say something like "Bedtime" or "sleep time".) and not touching them anymore than you need to (ie, no hugs, etc.)   You kind of need to keep an eye on them, without them knowing you are.  Our bookshelf is right beside their bedroom door, so I take a long time to pick out a book the first couple of nights... lol.    

   For my oldest, the first night took about 90 mins to 2 hours of constantly putting him back in bed (very tiring for me!) - then the 2nd night was about 45 min, the 3rd night was about 15 min, and after than it was maybe 1 or 2 attempts to get out of bed.    My 2nd was quicker.     My 3rd (at 18 months, the youngest I've done this) has hardly gotten out of bed, but I think she is uncertain of the process to get out of bed.... so I suspect once she has more confidence at it, I will need to do the process.

   For naps, you need to decide what is acceptable to you.  If you want them to stay in bed, you need to do the same thing as at nighttime.    For me, I changed the wording to "Quiet time" and if they were playing fairly quietly in the bedroom, that was fine.  Occasionally they didn't sleep.  My 3rd is having her quiet time in her playpen (And is rarely sleeping) because all 3 share the bedroom - and there is a bunkbed in there, and she is interested in climbing the ladder.  She is fine if the other kids are in there - but I'm not having her in there alone.

   btw - I generally only do the switch when it is safer to switch than to keep the crib.   For my oldest, he was climbing out of the playpen.  He hadn't climbed out of the crib yet, but it was a matter of time. He climbed the playpen at 19 months, but we switched the bed on his 2nd birthday.  My 2nd was climbing over the babygate!  She was about 20 months.   I've switched the 3rd out early because there are 2 different safety recalls on her crib, both of which it is recommended to stop using the crib until you have the "repair" kits.

    

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
5. 

   mrsjamiesouth
   Member

   My daughter is 19 months and easily climbs over baby gates and the playpen, but not yet the crib so I decided to just switch to a big bed.  Also, there is a major crib recall right now and hers is one.  There is about 4 or 5 inches between the rail and her mattress, some babies have gotten stuck and one I think died because of this.  She has had a foot stuck a few times but nothing serious.

   I was frustrated yesterday because we do our school work while she sleeps and I needed to stay close with her having the run of her room. We also had planned to go to the park with friends at 2, and with her not falling asleep right away I knew she wouldnt wake up before we needed to leave for the park. She ended up giving up and getting in her bed after 50 minutes of playing and whining and I cut her nap short to go to the park.   Last night she went straight to bed and didn't get out.  Today for her nap, she only cried for about 4 minutes or so and then went and layed down to sleep.  I have been strict on scheduling her sleep so it should go smoothly.   I was worried because I messed up with both of my boys during this switch.  I did babywise with all 3 but with the boys I didn't get the transition to a bed right.

   Thanks so much for encouragement!

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
6. 

   mjemom
   Member

   with my oldest we switched him young because I was pregnant with twins and physically could not pick him up anymore - we put up a baby gate at his door so he could not come out of the room - it seemed to help him not get as roused as when he could either bang on the door or walk out into the living room. I still can't say it was the smoothest, but the consistency paid off....eventually. 

   one thing I did with him when we got rid of the pacifier that I thought may work for you was let him pick out a "big boy" pillowcase - we got several and that was part of what made that transition fun rather than just bad. I have always tried to change up the routine in some sort of fun way when we had to transition to a new stage (e.g. dropping nursings at bedtime, pacis, big boy bed, etc.). Don't know but maybe some new fun thing like that associated with that bed would help her look forward to it more?? New music, new snuggly thing, fun pictures taped to the wall by her bed,? We also used to sing and read in the living room before bedtime but realized that they settled down better when we did all that with them in their bed. 

   with my younger two - I think I'll keep them in the crib until they are 10 

   I hope you find something that helps!

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
7. 

   mrsjamiesouth
   Member

   I had no problems tonight either, so I think we are fine.  Tell me though, mjemom, what age do you get rid of pacifiers and how beside the pillowcase?  I am debating back and forth, I feel like she is old enough and I should take it away, but also to be very honest It just keeps her Quieter for now.  She is a screamer anyways and without the paci I would have more issues.  It is hard to discipline this age sometimes with the strong-willed ones.  She is my 2nd strong-willed child and somedays I am so exhausted. (Well most days)

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
8. 

   mjemom
   Member

   oh the pacifier question.....well, with my first we got rid of it right at 2 (along with potty training the same week and the birth of twins - what was I thinking?!!!). What we said was that "big boys can sleep with pillows but not pacis." So he got to go to the store, buy a "big boy pillow" and pick out a few pillowcases. Then we swapped pillow for paci. The first night he missed it a little but I think being able to achieve "big boy" status was enough for him - it wasn't nearly as hard as we thought it would be :)  Now, my younger two are 2yrs 7mo. and we haven't gotten around to that yet - I must admit my life is much easier with them. I have, however, done what I did the first time and confined paci use strictly to the bed and the car for long trips. We actually were at a point several months back where they were chewing holes in all of them (silicone) and bringing them to me - we went through 20 or so in a couple of weeks (mind you, two babies) - I wasn't ready to cross that bridge yet, so I did some research and found out that latex doesn't tear as bad so I bought some of those, they didn't like them at first and I was scared! Then they gladly conceded to the new style :) I think I will probably push the issue closer to 3 but not before. I have given them the big boy/pillow speech and told them they have the choice. One is very excited about being a big boy like older brother and is pumping himself up for it, the other one says "me, no pli-lee, paci" :) They are both struggling in the speech department and all three of mine are screamers so I totally understand your predicament and am right there with you. I think you have to pick your battles, and if you have more important ones, leave this one for a different day. At least that is what we are doing. I don't see any physical harm in a pacifier whatsoever (though I am sure there are some dentists who may disagree). As I am writing this I remembered that my niece had a hard time getting rid of her pacis (she slept with about 5 or 6 every night) but when my first son was born she gave them all to him as a gift - so it was fun for her to give them up. I've heard of some people cutting the tips off them, but for me at least I like to coerce them to make it a decision of their own, especially since it is such a comfort to them. Well, I am rambling too much for  Friday night, must go to bed now. Hang in there - I live in a 900 square foot house with three screamers every day and try to maintain our business office in between fits - I know what it is like and exhausting is just part of it. It does get better (at least "they" say it does) :)

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
9. 

   mrsjamiesouth
   Member

   My 1st child had a paci and at 1 I just took it away and that was that, but he has always been my compliant child.  My 2nd son refused to take a paci, so we didn't have to get rid of one.

   I got the comment about you're 18 month old still has a paci the other day and it made me feel bad, but you are right about picking your battles.  Thanks again for more encouragement.

   Posted 2 years ago # Report Post
10. 

    mjemom
    Member

    oh I would hate for that person to see my two with pacis at 2.5 !!! :) You do have to pick your battles and they are not the same for all children at the same ages. My first was more compliant like you say yours was and it was not bad, he also spoke very clear full paragraphs at 18 months old so the discussion of giving up a paci was a rather civil one. My younger two are still struggling to make three word sentences with pauses between most words and not in the right order - I am not sure explaining it to them the same way that I could be sure they understood. And with all of my children right now we are having to deal very much with bickering, selfishness, cheerful obedience, and other things that to me rank much higher in priority than a silly pacifier. I am much more concerned with the eternal value of working on those things and if a paci is a bit of comfort that helps the little ones gain self control when they are having a hard time (and I think a lot of times it is the communication barrier) then let 'em have it! It is so hard to keep focused on what is most important, and even harder when you have comments from peanut galleries that don't live in your house every day and don't necessarily look at things the same way you do. And I wish people would think before they speak and think about how their comments effect others. All those little things make us mommies question, even if for just a little while, if we are doing the right thing. So, be encouraged! These exhausting efforts while they are so little will bear fruit later on and you will be glad you took pains to work on it while you did. Happy Saturday!

    Posted 2 years ago # Report Post

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