Hi there MJ
Have you heard of No Greater Joy ministry? Michael Pearl has a wonderful CD called "Starting Over". Its all about starting later in the areas of discipline and training with older children. If you are interested I can give you that website.
I know that for me,I've had to work on forming my own good habits and then letting the children learn by example. My older son(almost 13) seems to respect and obey me in such a greater way, when he sees me practicing what I preach- and especially when there is a smile on my face :) .
I can't tell you how many times I use to nag him for not getting his bed made (for example) when mine was still unmade. LOL! Then, the Lord convicted me (gently-I might add) that I was expecting more out of my children then I was myself.
I know that I need to FIRST form my own good habits with a cheerful and thankful heart-then proceed to teach them by example. However, you may already have been doing this and if so I call you "Blessed". :) This seems to be an ever work in progress for this household.
Though I'm not a Bible scholar, I was reminded recently of Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take that speck out of your eye" When all the time there is a plank in your own eye? First, take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye." I'm smiling as I write this because I can just picture myself with a huge log in my own eye as I go about my day in an undisciplined manner- trying to get a teeny speck out of my dc's eye.LOL
This is not to imply in any manner that you are in this same place, I'm only sharing where we have been. I don't think its ever too late to teach by example. If there is any area of your life where you need to work on habits, I suggest starting there. If not - can you share your wisdom with me as I am still working on this? :) I'm considering ordering Laying Down the Rails myself.
I'm sure there are many others (more seasoned then myself) here who will have many more helpful suggestions for you.
Also, have you heard Sonyas message yet "Keeping Our Childrens Hearts"? Oh I can not recommend this enough! No matter how old your children are it will touch at every point.
Blessings to you, MJ!
Heather
(Helpmeet to Tim for 15 years and Mamma to 3 - ds 12, ds 7 and ds 9 months)