I'm just curious. I have one (of my 5 school-aged kids) that I am wondering if CM may not be a match for. Has anyone had a similar experience? Did you just push through with CM or did you have to find a different method?
Robin
Have you ever had a child for whom CM did not work?
(10 posts) (8 voices)-
delightx7
MemberPosted 1 year ago # Report Post -
Esby
MemberWhat are some examples of the mismatch between the child and CM?
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
I've talked to a couple moms who said CM didn't work for their children. Those were cases of switching from other methods but not giving it much of a chance. In one instance I think she tried it for only a week. Learning to narrate and develop the habit of attention can take some time, especially for an older child who hasn't been brought up that way from the beginning. We've heard plenty of good reports of the benefits from those who have stuck with it, though.
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
RobinP
MemberI agree with Doug. Many people classify CM as "gentle" and it is in many ways. But CM also requires the child to think! And that's HARD!
In so many curricula, the thinking is done for the child. Narration, especially, seems to be the bugaboo for many and moms want to throw in the whole thing when they are met with resistance. Just take baby steps and I think you'll see the fruit in due time.Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
mj
MemberMy experience is exactly as Doug and Robin stated. I was so tempted to give in and choose a different path on many occassions when we first started CM. I wanted what most of us want; instantaneous results. But I'm so glad we persevered. One of our children (age 10 at the time) actually pleaded with us to give him a textbook instead of reading living books with narration. I was perplexed because textbooks are so boring to me. Why would a child ask for a textbook? Because it's easier. I agree with Robin; take baby steps and focus on any progress you make however small it may seem.
Blessings
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
That's one of the reasons we did the article series a while back on transitioning to CM. It's a lot to tackle all at once but you can ease into it a step at a time.
http://simplycharlottemason.com/series/making-the-transition-to-cm/
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
Hi Robin,
I think you've posed a very interesting question.
I too wondered if CMs methods -- which work so well with my first child --would work with my second who is so much different. Happily, the more I researched and used CMs gentle approach, I found my children and I were stretched in different areas but never pushed to the panic-zone. Her methods are multi-faceted and rely as much on the formation of character as they do on living books and narration.
Do let us know more about what you are experiencing with your child. Maybe we can be of some help.
Peace to you!
Richele
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
I also wanted to add that CM was a paradigm shift for us. For our family, CM isn't just how we've chosen to educate our children. Her methods and principles spill over into nearly every area of our lives. We have never used any other method for homeschooling, but once we began schooling the CM way, we found ourselves wanting to change our parenting, discipline, time management, habits, etc. CM became a more of a lifestyle choice than it did an educational choice.
If CM doesn't seem to be working for you, and I'm just throwing this out here (I could be completely wrong), maybe it's because you're confining CM to just the school aspect of your life, and the rest of your life seems like a struggle because it's different than the school part of your day.
If that's totally not the case, remember too that CM is totally different from any other educational style. If you are like most of us on this forum and you went to public school, CM requires a paradigm shift for you personally. When I decided to homeschool three years ago, I thought I was going to create a classroom environment at home. Thankfully, I never did that because I found CM first! Another thing I'm going to throw out there (and again, I could be completely wrong) is that maybe you're unintentionally combining the CM style with another style, and you and your child are feeling conflicted.
I do agree with the others that adjusting to CM from something else will take time. Narration instead of testing/multiple choice is a big change. Going from textbooks to living books is another big change. Adjusting to short lessons from hours of boring work is also a big change.
If I could encourage you in anything, it would be to not give up! CM was probably more of a struggle for me than it was my children simply because I had to change my thinking, perspective, and lifestyle. It really had nothing to do with them, other than their patience was required as I tried to navigate my way through the paradigm shift. I do hope I have come across in an attitude of love and humility. Sometimes the tone in which I would like to come across does not always come out in these posts.
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
CM also requires the child to think! And that's HARD!
In so many curricula, the thinking is done for the child.I agree with RobinP - this is what my boys found the hardest last year when we started narrations. They were 11 yo and definitely not used to having to pay attention that well in order to be able to narrate. They would much rather do some fill-in-the-blank or multiple choice worksheet associated with what we (or they) were reading! I have many times had to tell them that what I am asking them to do isn't comfortable for them yet because it requires them to think about something before responding and they aren't used to having to do that! And they are lazy by nature and don't WANT to have to put forth that mental energy to do the thinkging.
Now, even though they still at times utter low groans when they have to narrate, especially if we haven't done much of it lately (like taking a summer break), they love that we have moved to living books instead of textbooks. They really didn't understand what textbooks were that much before as we never have really used a lot of them, but now that they are in middle school and would normally be using MORE textbooks than ever before, they see how much more interesting living books are to read. And what they don't quite get yet is that they are retaining so much more about the time periods and events we are studying BECAUSE the book is more interesting to start with! Add to that the narration, and they just don't yet realize how much they are learning! It does take time to see the results, but it makes so much more sense!
Posted 1 year ago # Report Post -
delightx7
MemberI posted this question originally 6 months ago. I apologize for not getting back to it sooner. I have so appreciated everyone's replies.
That said, I have stuck with CM and I am seeing progress. The difficulty that I am having is that this particular child has a real inability to grasp abstract concepts. She was adopted from Haiti and has been with us now for over 4 years. She is 8. I expected some delays and thought I was prepared for them, but her "delays" have challenged me because there are no quick fixes and easy answers. Things like "the wise man built his house upon a rock" make no sense whatsoever to her. We encounter numerous things daily that simply make no sense.
So in the last 6 months since posting my question, I have had to change my plan multiple times - History makes no sense to her (yet;-)), so all my ideas of the books we were going to cover are out-the-window - lol. I cannot "do school" with her and my 6 and 4 year olds together because they really enjoy the study of history, etc. They are just different. The sweet thing with CM is that I don't have to do things one way, but can customize it for her needs. One of the most exciting things of late is that she is reading and able to narrate beautifully back to me the things she reads to me (I have her narrate to me even though she is already reading it aloud to me). She is getting it!
Anyway, I just thought I'd share since some of you were so kind to share your wisdom and encourage me to continue on with CM. I am certain that switching to a different (textbook) approach would not have been nearly as profitable.
Thanks,
Robin
Posted 11 months ago # Report Post
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